It's so easy to lose the plot in the midst of conflict. When someone says something unacceptable, it triggers something within us that causes us to react. That's why there is the idiom, "making our blood boil". Fact is, anger is both an emotional and a physiological response. Some physical changes need to happen in order for us to get angry. For instance, we cannot smile and erupt in anger at the same time. The physical symptoms do not match.
If anger is both an emotional and physiological response, then it makes sense that one simple method to control anger would be a physiological one as well. Sometimes, emotions run wild. In the heat of the moment, it would take a Gandhi to remain calm. But we can always control our physical state.
A simple method...pause and breathe. Take 3 deep breaths. Be aware of our breathing before responding. The pause would make for good drama and effect- clearly sends a message to the recipient that perhaps he has said something unacceptable. At the same time, it allows us to collect our composure, and ensure our response would be effective and controlled, and most importantly, it won't be something we would regret later on.
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2008 marks our 10th year in practice. Thank you for your support.
If you have any questions or comments, drop me an email at khenghoe@mycounsel.com.my.
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